{"title":"Collection One","description":"\u003cp\u003eFive candles. Zero apologies. Each one hand-poured and named with the kind of honesty you didn't ask for but absolutely needed.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"bigfoots-airbnb","title":"Bigfoot's Airbnb","description":"\u003cp\u003eFresh green leaves, rain-soaked earth, airy ozone, cedar, white tea, and warm amber come together in a clean, woodsy blend that smells like disappearing into a secluded cabin after a summer storm.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCrisp, earthy, and quietly atmospheric — like a very nice weekend rental that absolutely does not have reliable cell service.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eScent Notes:\u003c\/strong\u003e Green Leaves · Ozone · Cedar · Petrichor · White Tea · Amber\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMood:\u003c\/strong\u003e Remote. Wooded. Mildly Elusive.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize:\u003c\/strong\u003e 8 oz \/ 226 g\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Pretentious Wick Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52351168839896,"sku":null,"price":24.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0836\/4923\/3112\/files\/ChatGPT_Image_Sep_2_2026_at_06_41_28_PM_bcb3de5e-108b-4f91-ba3c-6f419da4649b.png?v=1788393306"},{"product_id":"whisper-of-financial-stability","title":"Whisper of Financial Stability","description":"\u003cp\u003eSoft white tea and warm amber create a clean, smooth fragrance that feels calm, polished, and suspiciously put together. It's light without being flimsy, warm without getting heavy, and refined enough to make you feel like maybe you finally understand what a 401(k) is.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEasygoing, comforting, and quietly luxurious — the olfactory equivalent of checking your bank account and not immediately regretting it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eScent Notes:\u003c\/strong\u003e White Tea · Amber\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMood:\u003c\/strong\u003e Calm. Polished. Temporarily responsible.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize:\u003c\/strong\u003e 8 oz \/ 226 g\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Pretentious Wick Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52351220482264,"sku":null,"price":24.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0836\/4923\/3112\/files\/ChatGPT_Image_Sep_2_2026_at_06_47_54_PM_49700e17-4e97-436e-9fee-2092db2ee973.png?v=1788394187"},{"product_id":"bergamot-and-questionable-choices","title":"Bergamot and Questionable Choices","description":"\u003cp\u003eBright bergamot opens crisp and citrusy before settling into smooth, warm amber. It's fresh, polished, and just reckless enough to suggest that whatever happens next probably sounded like a good idea at the time.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSophisticated with a little chaos underneath — like getting dressed up for plans you absolutely should have declined.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eScent Notes:\u003c\/strong\u003e Bergamot · Amber\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMood:\u003c\/strong\u003e Bright. Warm. Dubious judgment.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize:\u003c\/strong\u003e 8 oz \/ 226 g\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Pretentious Wick Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52351238406360,"sku":null,"price":24.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0836\/4923\/3112\/files\/ChatGPT_Image_Sep_2_2026_at_06_53_25_PM_72fd03ef-df5a-4da7-a013-2bc24fbbe642.png?v=1788394357"},{"product_id":"slightly-haunted-farmers-market","title":"Slightly Haunted Farmers Market","description":"\u003cp\u003eWarm pumpkin chai and dry cedar come together in a cozy autumn blend that feels like wandering between produce stands on a cool October morning — assuming one of those stands may or may not be cursed.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSpiced, woody, and just a little strange — all the comfort of fall with the faint suspicion that something followed you home.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eScent Notes:\u003c\/strong\u003e Pumpkin Chai · Cedar\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMood:\u003c\/strong\u003e Cozy. Autumnal. Mildly possessed.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize:\u003c\/strong\u003e 8 oz \/ 226 g\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Pretentious Wick Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52351245484248,"sku":null,"price":24.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0836\/4923\/3112\/files\/ChatGPT_Image_Sep_2_2026_at_06_58_23_PM_2e7118c9-afd9-4f67-be27-c3edf65e81cb.png?v=1788394483"},{"product_id":"professionally-unsupervised","title":"Professionally Unsupervised","description":"\u003cp\u003eFresh coffee shop notes meet bright bergamot, dry cedar, and warm amber in a blend that feels productive, polished, and only loosely connected to an actual plan.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRich, aromatic, and confidently chaotic — like answering emails with one hand while making an entirely avoidable decision with the other.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eScent Notes:\u003c\/strong\u003e Coffee Shop · Bergamot · Cedar · Amber\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMood:\u003c\/strong\u003e Caffeinated. 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